Running From Grace

Trent Reznor

There are times when I feel incredibly alone. Like there is not a soul on this earth that could possibly understand the thoughts in my head. Like I am screaming at the top of my lungs and there isn’t a single person that can hear me. Like I am drowning in frigid, unmerciful waters without any hope of someone throwing me a life saver. And although all of this is a good reason for me to hole up in my apartment and wish for death, it is essentially what makes me alive. What makes me human. We all have our battles and the lifestyles we choose determine just how great our personal war with the world will be. Some people are satisfied with their role as the innocent civilian, while others want nothing but the front lines and an AK-47. Can you guess where I would be? I am hoping to see you there too. I also wouldn’t mind going to battle with some of the most daring people the world ever saw. The real fighters. The ones who defied society and basically gave the finger to every social rule there ever was. Mae West. Martin Luther King Jr.. Harvey Milk. And then there is Trent Reznor, lead singer of Nine Inch Nails and someone who I believe singlehandedly changed industrial rock music forever. He has been around for the past 20 years and in those 2 decades, he has come out with numerous number one songs that have put his personal thoughts out there for everyone to see.  Pair this raw passion with strong beats and captivating lyrics and you have the recipe for pure musical genius. In his own way, Trent is a stripper. Just like me. And it is quite obvious that his defiance not only made him a millionaire but it also made him an icon. He isn’t afraid to break the rules and let people see him for who he is. If that isn’t inspirational, I don’t know what is.

I am a relatively new NIN fan. The first song I ever heard was “Closer” and I was immediately intrigued by the boldness of the lyrics. Although edited, I knew what he was getting at and I really liked it. When I first started dancing, I always asked the DJ to play it for me but it was constantly “reserved” for some other girl that had been there longer. It wasn’t until my fourth club that I was able to put Trent’s words into motion and it truly felt amazing. You let me violate you. My body became an extension of his storm, bending and twisting with the winds. You let me desecrate you. My heart echoed the rhythmic thunder of his voice, his words. His insides. You let me penetrate you. Flashes of pinks and reds lit up my eyes, my skin, any darkness that dwelled in my soul. And yes Trent, you can complicate me any day. Not only did “Closer” tap into the hidden sex kitten inside of me, but other songs really spoke to me as well. The following are some of my favorite lyrics from my favorite NIN songs.

“You can have my isolation.
You can have the hate that it brings.
You can have my absence of faith.
You can have my everything.”
- Closer

“Devils speak of the ways in which she’ll manifest.
Angels bleed from the tainted touch of my caress.
Need to contaminate to alleviate this loneliness.
I now know the depths I reach are limitless.”
- Reptile

“so impressed with all you do
tried so hard to be like you
flew too high and burnt the wing
lost my faith in everything

lick around divine debris
taste the wealth of hate in me
shedding skin succumb defeat
this machine is obsolete

made the choice to go away
drink the fountain of decay
tear a hole exquisite red
fuck the rest and stab it dead

broken bruised forgotten sore
too fucked up to care anymore
poisoned to my rotten core
too fucked up to care anymore”
- Somewhat Damaged

“In my nothing, you meant everything to me.”
- And All That Could’ve Been

“My moral standing is lying down”.
- The Only Time

Etc.

This post is dedicated to Chicago Joe

If there are any other NIN fans out there, feel free to add a lyric!